Woman 'irritated' with 'intrusive' neighbours letting their 'unruly' kids into her garden

A woman claims her neighbour has been lifting fence panels to give his children access to her garden without permission. The frustrated homeowner turned to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forumto seek advice on how to deal with the situation.

She admitted she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours, due to their "unruly" offspring and excessive noiselevels. However, she has discovered that the family has been "intruding" on her property.

She added that in the past, the neighbouring childrenwould cycle across her driveway and scale her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to implement measures to stop it. Despite her efforts, she began noticing that "things would be moved" within her garden, and that when a ball the children were playing with had accidentally ended up there, when she'd check, it had already been removed.

The woman said she overheard a telling exchange between her neighbour and his kids - discovering the father had been manually lifting fence panels to allow the children into the garden.

She added that while the father refused this, "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." She said that despite being told no, the children then decided to climb over the fence to retrieve their ball.

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The frustrated woman reflected that she "wouldn't have dared" attempt such behaviour during her own childhood, describing the situation as "really intrusive and unpleasant." She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation.

In the full AIBU post, the woman wrote: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart.

"What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there.

"Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away.

"So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones.

"They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way.

"This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13."

The post sparked hundreds of replies, with many in support of the woman needing to take an extra step in order to keep her garden private. Suggestions poured in, ranging from anti-vandal paint to motion-activated sprinklers, all aimed at deterring the nosy neighbours.

Yet some cautioned against taking any action that might "escalate" the already tense situation. One person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things."

Another commenter advised a more subtle approach, writing: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels." A third added: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side.

"I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term."

A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well . That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again"

Others said the woman should avoid escalating the situation with her neighbours and instead try to talk to them. One wrote: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy."

A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"